The Kundalini Awakening No One Prepared Me For: When Your Body Gives Birth to You Again
I couldn't sleep for months.
Not because of anxiety or stress, but because an energy I knew very little about was surging through my body with such force that rest became impossible.
I lost 15 pounds in 6 weeks. Weight I didn’t need or want to lose. Food felt irrelevant. My entire system was consumed by something I can only describe as a divine chiropractor moving through my core, blasting open my heart and my reproductive/sexual energy and forcibly clearing everything misaligned with my soul's purpose.
My heart center got so hot at times that my armpits sweat while I was sitting still. My lower belly felt so alive that I would lie awake all night in awe of it and not feel exhausted the next day.
If you've never experienced a Kundalini activation, this probably sounds dramatic. Maybe even unbelievable.
But if you're in the middle of one right now—confused, tired but exhilarated, highly activated and disoriented, wondering if you're losing your mind—you're not crazy. This is real. And you're not alone.
The Activation I Didn't See Coming
My Kundalini awakening didn't happen during a meditation retreat or after years of dedicated spiritual practice.
It happened suddenly, unexpectedly, about a year after giving birth to my second son.
I'd been doing deep energetic work—Qi Gong, womb healing practices, releasing years-long suppressed rage from my body. I thought I was slowly, methodically healing old wounds.
Then one day, without warning, this energy activated. The details of that precise moment are a story I’ll tell another time.
The only way I can describe it: imagine those TV shows where women don't know they're pregnant, and suddenly they're giving birth. The shock. The complete life disruption. The sudden, irrevocable change.
A Kundalini awakening, when it comes this suddenly, feels like giving birth to yourself again.
Everything you thought you knew about yourself gets called into question. Every belief system. Every relationship. Every life choice.
It's the most intense, disorienting, and ultimately transformative experience of my life.
What a Kundalini Awakening Actually Feels Like
For those unfamiliar with this phenomenon, Kundalini is described in ancient texts as a dormant spiritual energy that resides at the base of the spine. When activated, it rises upward through the energy centers of the body, clearing blockages and awakening consciousness.
That's the poetic version.
Here's what it actually felt like in my body:
Physically, intense energy surged through my body—sometimes keeping me awake all night. For me, the most powerful energy moved through my heart and my womb, the 2nd and 4th chakras (which seem like a theoretical concept until they blast open and there’s no denying that there are massive energy centers in the body). I completely lost my appetite and subsequently lost 15 lbs. in about 6 weeks. Heat moved through my system in waves. The energy would get so hot that I’d start sweating without any exertion. Sometimes my body would shake or move spontaneously as the energy released.
Everything felt intense. I became hypersensitive to sounds, lights, and other people's energy. I felt the deepest grief I’ve ever felt. I felt the deepest love I’ve ever felt.
I felt like I was short-circuiting. I was still able to work, thankfully, but not at the level and capacity I had been familiar with. My system was rebooting, and I couldn't access some of my energetic skills for a period of time. I had to focus on one breath at a time. One moment at a time.
Emotionally, every unhealed wound suddenly demanded attention. This part was overwhelming. The looming changes were daunting. I gained crystal-clear clarity about what wasn't aligned in my life, including my marriage. Waves of forgiveness I couldn't have accessed before washed over me. I felt deep humility in the face of something so much larger than myself. And through it all: periods of profound confusion mixed with absolute knowing.
Energetically, it felt like a dam had broken and energy was flooding through. I could sense blockages in my system as uncomfortable pressure points. I could feel where trauma, emotions, or misalignment were lodged in my body. And the energy just kept pushing on these blocks. The more I resisted, the louder the energy got.
Finally, I had to surrender to it. I was scared of making drastic changes, and I was scrambling to keep some semblance of order in my life, but there was no denying that big changes were happening. It’s like I wasn’t in control.
I kept reminding myself of something I was taught in my raft guide training during the two summers I worked as a white water rafting guide: If you fall out in the rapids, pick your feet up and let your life vest and water carry you to safety. All I could do was pick my feet up, try to keep my head above water, and keep breathing.
If someone isn't a believer in energy or Qi moving through the body, a Kundalini experience will make you a believer. It's that powerful. That undeniable.
The Divine Chiropractor That Won't Let You Hide
Kundalini energy is different from other forms of healing work. It finds every block. Every trauma. Every misalignment. And it refuses to move past them.
Think of it like a river that's been dammed up for decades. When the dam breaks, the water doesn't politely flow around obstacles—it pushes against them with tremendous force until they shift.
In my experience, when the Kundalini energy encountered a wound or pattern that wasn't serving me, it would essentially get stuck there. The energy would build and build, creating intense discomfort, until I was forced to address whatever was blocking the flow.
This is why people often describe Kundalini awakenings as both beautiful and brutal.
The energy doesn't care about your timeline. It doesn't respect your comfort zone. It doesn't let you intellectualize your way around deep healing. I called one of my spiritual mentors for help, and she reminded me: “The soul does not care about timelines and social order. It knows what it needs.”
Kundalini energy clears out anything not aligned with your soul's purpose—whether you feel ready or not.
For me, that meant confronting:
The anger I'd been suppressing since childhood
The ways I'd built my entire life around trauma responses
The relationship patterns that kept me feeling safe but stuck
The truth that my marriage, as loving as it was, had run its course
The parts of my professional work that were not/are not aligned with my dreams
Why This Is Happening to More People Now
In the two years since my awakening, I've talked to several other people, mostly empaths and highly sensitive individuals, who describe remarkably similar experiences.
Sudden activation. Intense disruption. Life-changing clarity. The sense of being remade from the inside out.
Something is happening collectively.
I don't claim to fully understand it, but I sense a waking up that's occurring on a larger scale. More people are having spontaneous spiritual openings. More nervous systems are demanding that we address what we've been avoiding.
This is particularly true for empaths and sensitive people, who:
Already have more porous energetic boundaries
Carry not just their own emotions but others' as well
Are deeply affected by collective energy shifts
Often do healing work that opens these channels
If you're an empath who's been doing deep healing work—releasing trauma, working with your energy field, addressing ancestral patterns—you may be more susceptible to this kind of spontaneous awakening.
The Forgiveness That Came Without Trying
One of the most unexpected gifts of this experience was forgiveness.
Not the forced, "I should forgive" kind that comes from talk therapy.
But genuine, spontaneous forgiveness that arose as the energetic charge around old wounds dissolved.
As I wrote in a previous article, my Qi Gong mentor described forgiveness this way: It’s when you are no longer impacted by the energy of the initial wound. It’s an internal energy shift. A letting go. A healing. It’s not even about the other person or people. It’s about you and what you're holding or no longer holding.
As the Kundalini energy moved through my system, clearing blocks related to childhood betrayal and family trauma, I found myself able to see my parents with profound compassion.
Long held judgements seemed to dissolve. As I made the choice to leave my marriage, I could no longer hide from myself ways that I had been self-righteous. As I worked to forgive myself, the effects of self forgiveness radiated out into forgiveness for others. This remains a work in progress.
I could suddenly see the generational trauma that had shaped their choices. I could trace the wounds back through family lines. I could recognize that hurt people hurt people—not as an excuse, but as a truth that softened my heart.
This forgiveness didn't come from "working on it." It came from the energy literally clearing the stuck emotion from my body.
When the emotional charge dissolved, what remained was just...compassion.
I’d love to say that I achieved complete bliss and enlightenment, but as the energy settles, I remain humbly human with plenty more forgiveness to do and all the same human emotions to work on. The difference now, perhaps, is that I’m more tuned into it all within myself.
What to Do If This Is Happening to You
If you're reading this and recognizing your own experience, here's what I wish someone had told me:
You're not losing your mind. This is a real energetic phenomenon that's been documented across spiritual traditions for thousands of years. You're not broken. Your system is clearing and healing.
It's profoundly disruptive, and that's part of the process. The disruption isn't a sign that something's wrong. It's the energy clearing out what's been stuck. Trying to suppress it or "get back to normal" often makes it worse.
You need support from people who understand. Traditional therapy may not be equipped to guide you through this. Seek out practitioners who work with energy, trauma, and spiritual emergence. Find others who've been through it.
Your life will likely change. Relationships may shift or end. Career paths may no longer fit. Living situations may need to change. This isn't failure—it's alignment. The energy is showing you what's true.
The discomfort serves a purpose. When energy gets "stuck" in your body, that discomfort is pointing you toward what needs attention. Lean into it rather than avoid it.
Movement helps. Qi Gong, dancing, shaking, any practice that helps energy flow through your body can ease the intensity. For me, learning to circulate and ground the energy with Qi Gong breathing was essential.
It does eventually integrate. The acute phase doesn't last forever. Over time, the energy settles into a new baseline. You adjust to your new sense of self. The intensity mellows. Honestly, I found this to be a disappointing relief. It was the greatest high of my life. It felt necessary to come down from it so that I could function and be present and in my life, but I find myself missing the intensity of the energy for a period of time.
Trust. Surrender. Receive. Let Go.
The Most Incredible Thing I've Ever Experienced
Despite the disruption—the sleepless nights, the confusion, the massive life changes—I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.
A close friend who's been through something similar and I often say to each other: "If everyone could experience this, it would heal the world."
Because when you feel that kind of energy moving through you—when you experience firsthand the intelligence of your body's healing capacity—everything changes.
You stop seeing healing as something you have to force or figure out intellectually.
You start trusting that your system knows exactly what it needs to release and when.
You recognize that there's an intelligence far greater than your conscious mind guiding this process.
It's humbling. It's sacred. It's the most profound experience of my life.
An Invitation to Those on This Path
If you're experiencing something similar—if your body is going through an intense energetic clearing that's disrupting everything—I want you to know you're not alone.
This awakening, though challenging, is offering you an opportunity to align with your deepest truth. To release what you've carried for too long. To become who you actually are beneath all the conditioning and trauma.
It won't always feel this intense. But right now, in the middle of it, be gentle with yourself.
Your being is doing something extraordinary. Something that most people never experience in their lifetime.
You're being remade. And on the other side of this, you'll barely recognize the person you used to be—in the best possible way.
Originally published on LinkedIn on December 3, 2025.
